I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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