I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
