doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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