Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I am available for nakedness
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Shame - the story of my life.
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