I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
