It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
