Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
