The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize