Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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