I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I seem to have left my pride at pride
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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