You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Another day, another engagement, another cat
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
