i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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