remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i think my tv is drunk
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
