Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
i think i just lost a toe
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
