I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
