Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
