So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
