Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
