I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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