We're like a lot better than the average bears
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
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