6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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