Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize