I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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