Got a toothbrush?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
