He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Small penises have feelings too.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
