I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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