Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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