just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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