I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
