She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am available for nakedness
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
