i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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