Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
