Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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