I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
