Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
