Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
