I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
