look no pants
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
how drunk are you?
Several
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
