The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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