My friends, they love my intelligence
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
