So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
