Someone shattered a urinal.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
