glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
