I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
