You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
