oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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