i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize