I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
