i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
