My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
