I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
