your room smells of hookers.
And success
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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