I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
worst night to have a conscience
Boobs speak an international language.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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