Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize