you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
