Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i barfeds in our rink
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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