I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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